Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Kim Kardashian's New Song "Jam (Turn It Up)"? More like "Damn (Turn It Down)"

Kim Kardashian--who I am contractually obligated to note, as a writer, has a reality show, a sex tape, lots of money, a long last name, and, most of all, a big ol' butt--released a single this morning, thus joining fellow untalented heiress Paris Hilton (she of the incredibly annoying "Stars Are Blind" from 2006) as really rich women famous from reality shows who imagine themselves as American Idols.

And really, they are American Idols.

Like William Hung was! Heyoooooooo---

---here's the song, produced by Pitchfork favorite The-Dream(!), as heard on The Ryan Seacrest morning radio program, the most popular morning show for drivers commuting from the suburbs of Los Angeles to the third ring of Hell.

Take a listen:





I will charitably say that the first five seconds sounds like it cribbed some beats from The Tough Alliance, but after that--YEESH. I mean, YIKES.

YEESH.

YOWCH.

This song sounds like Kidz Bop recorded in a cotton candy factory wearing Vocoder Voiceboxes, and then the entire track somehow inhaled helium. Also, the lyrics sound like they were written by Howard Hughes:


Turn it up, turn it up, turn it up, turn it up,


Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,



Turn it up, turn it up, turn it up, turn it up,

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The way of the future. The way of the future. The way of the future. The way of the future.

Even Will.i.am thinks this song is annoying. And that guy has horrible taste in music.

1 comment:

  1. “Kim” Kardashian was born in October 21, 1980 in an American family. She is a television personality, actress, model, and recording artist.

    I love Kim Kardashian. i am big fan of kim kardashian.

    ReplyDelete