Monday, December 27, 2010

The Best Puns on "Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark"

Here at Business Flannel, we've enjoyed following the Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark bumblesh*t just as much as anyone else whose relative is not in the show. That's why we are proud to announce what we hope will eventually be the definitive place to find puns on the title of the new Spider-Man broadway show. This list will be crowd-sourced, so feel free to leave suggestions in the comments.

Right now the list is small, but with your help, we can grow it to be as long as the non-liability clause in the contract all Spider-Man actors have to pay!

The Best Puns on Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark

Spider-Man: Turn Off the Show
Spider-Man: Turn Off the Common Sense
Spider-Man: Turn On the X-Rays
Spider-Man: Turn On the Neck Injuries
Julie Taymor: Turn Yourself In
Spider-Man: Turn-Offs - Smoothness, Actor Safety
Spider-Man: Turn On 5th Avenue to Get to Mount Sinai
Spider-Man: Turn On the House Lights So We Can Assess the Damage
Spider-Man: Turnout in the Audience Is Likely Motivated by Schadenfraude
Spider-Man: Turn Around (Every Now and Then the Safety Mechanisms Fall Apart)
Spider-Man: Turn $70 Million into a Confusing, Dangerous Spectacle
Spider-Man: Turns Out Solving World Hunger Is Not Bono's Top Priority
Spider-Man: Turn Your Head and Cough, I Think Your Fall May Have Caused A Hernia
Spider-Man: Turn to Your Fellow Audience Members and Ask If That Was Supposed to Happen

12 comments:

  1. My standby is "Spider-Man: Turn On the X-Rays". I've also often referred to the upcoming sequel "Spider-Man 2: Let There Be Undarkness."

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  2. Spider-Man: Turn On the House Lights So We Can See What the Damage Is

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  3. Spider-Man: Turn Around (Every Now and Then I Get a Little Bit Restless and I Dream of Something Wild)

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  4. Spider-Man: Turnout in the Audience Is Likely Motivated by Schadenfreude

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  5. Spider-Man: Turn and Look Away If the Sight of Bone Poking Through Flesh Makes You Queasy

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  6. Spider-Man: Turn $70 Million into a Confusing, Dangerous Spectacle

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  7. (Though I plan on posting as many of these as I can come up with, regardless of quality, I will be the first to admit that most of these are sub-par. In that respect, I'm at least one step ahead of Julie Taymor.)

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  8. Spider-Man: Turns Out Starving Children NOT Bono's Top Priority

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  9. Credit to a friend of mine: "Spider-Man: A Whole Cast in Casts!"

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  10. Spider-Man: Turn Your Head And Cough, I Think Your Fall May Have Caused A Hernia

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  11. Spider-Man: Turn off the Brandon Michael Lowden.

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  12. Tee-hee, Halcyon!

    Jason, there is a typographical mishap in the official blog text I thought you should know about. I assume you've got one verb too many in "Turn on the House Lights So We Can See Assess the Damage." Also, I wonder if "On" should be capitalized there to match the pattern of most of the other titles? And while I'm thinking of that, I will go so far (possibly over the line) as to suggest that "Spider-Man Turn-Offs: Smoothness, Actor Safety" would be a clearer syntax. Though if you don't lose your colon after Spider-Man (something I bet the actors are probably hoping for), I'd keep the syntax you have, but lose the italics, as it weirdly draws attention when seen among all the others.

    Hope my helpfulness:douchiness ratio is > 1.

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