Sunday, November 7, 2010
Parallel World Chicago Cubs Win 38th Parallel World Series
PARALLEL UNIVERSE CHICAGO, IL --- In a universe that is parallel to our own in both time and space, but in which hypothetical occurrences opposing our own world's reality do indeed exist, the Chicago Cubs finished out a six-game series win over the Kansas City Royals, capturing a 38th Parallel World Series Title and bringing yet another baseball championship to the victory-accustomed Parallel World Chicago Cubs baseball fans. Though this is Parallel World Chicago's 38th Series win, and 7th in the last 9 years, Parallel Universe Chicago fans agree that the elation and team pride that accompanies an ultimate victory in one's sport of choice has not lessened or reduced following so many unblemished and worry-free post-seasons. "Sometimes I think, 'You know, we've been so successful these past few decades, maybe it's time we let New York or Boston win a championship, to let them experience this unremitting joy I feel now that my team has once again gone all the way,'" said Parallel Universe Chicago resident Dennis Birdsong, 32, before reconsidering: "Nah, screw them. This feeling never gets old! Here we go Cubbies!! Five-peat!!!" The Parallel Universe Chicago Cubs were once again led on the mound by their trio of dominant and durable starting pitchers Kerry Wood, Mark Prior, and Carlos Zambrano (who was also named Teammate of the Year by The Parallel World Sporting News for a fifth straight year), and on offense by recent Parallel Universe Cubs first-round draft picks Evan Longoria, Chase Utley, and Parallel World Series MVP Jessica Alba, who is also the writer's Parallel World wife and concubine.