Friday, November 5, 2010

Mariah Cuomo's Reaction to Her Father's Election: Somewhere Between Mortified and Apathetic

Perhaps my favorite subplot of Andrew Cuomo's victory speech upon being elected to New York governor was not whether or not he would do something to make him look like he was in the mafia (yes, grab your father the former leader and kiss him on the cheek) nor whether or not he would vow to do something about the damn rent (fear the beard), but rather the mesmerizing reaction of Cuomo's youngest daughter Mariah (I think it is Mariah, though my political semi-celebrity stalking skills are admittedly subpar). Keep your eye on her, over Cuomo's left shoulder in the scoop-neck black dress and the silver necklace, and enjoy the greatest non-reaction to a parent's political success ever.

I recommend watching the entire 10 minutes, just so you can see Mariah actively break down and get tired of all this applause-and-smiling bullshit, as she goes from feigned enthusiasm to apathy to outright pubescent disdain for one's father. For those of you with "jobs" and "social lives," however, you can start in around 3:45 mark, when Mariah really turns into a member of The Sarcastic Clapping Family of Southhampton.

She starts out so wonderfully: smiling, hugging and kissing relatives, not glaring at her father as though wishing he were dead. And then, at about the 2 minute mark, she totally loses it. She's like a toddler who eats a lot of sugar and runs around the house screaming for a while before losing all energy and collapsing onto the floor; except, instead of going from hyper to comatose, she goes from seemingly congratulatory to visibly contemptuous.

Some in New York no doubt would like to see another Cuomo take over the Governor's office after Andrew, and it may well be Mariah's to take; but if she does not choose to enter politics, I am sure she has a terrific future ahead of her as a teenage girl in cell phone commercials who is tired of hearing her parents tell her how many text messages she sent in the last month.


  1. i stopped watching when they stopped chanting "homo! homo!"

  2. WOW!!! She is burning a hole in his head! Complete and utter disdain. I believe, if she possessed the capability, she would have stared at his head until it burst into a bloody mash of flesh and bone fragments. Hilarious. I guess, if my father kept using the asinine and senseless line of "we are one state because we are New York" I would be doing the same. But in Andrew's defense, his daughter does look like a real b@#ch.