Monday, May 3, 2010

Wisdom, American Style

I have a bit of American wisdom to impart, for those of you that also live in America, like I live in America.

Eating popcorn chicken is good. Popcorn chicken is delicious, easy to make, and filling.

Taking a bath is good. It is relaxing, it feels nice during and afterward, and it is fun to fart in the bath.

Despite the separate positives of these two activities, here is the wisdom: it is not good to eat popcorn chicken and then take a bath. It is not relaxing, and it does not feel nice either during or afterward (farting in the bath is still fun, though, and the Flatulence Frequency is increased exponentially (I would draw you a graph, though I don't know which visualization is most suitable (perhaps a bubble chart))).

Like I said, unless you like underwater stomachaches, or want to know what giving water birth feels like, I wouldn't eat too much popcorn chicken before you take  your next bath. I can't confirm this, but if you only eat a little bit of popcorn chicken before the bath, I think you will be okay. If you are eating popcorn chicken, though, and you get to a point where you can feel chicken grease surging out your skin pores, that is when you know it is time not to take a bath.

I would cross swimming off your list, too.

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