Tuesday, December 1, 2009

/That/ falls off behind the meadow!

Interesting day. Just when I thought I was completely healed from that crazy sickness that I haven't written about yet, I woke up and my right armpit was KILLING ME.

I'm serious. I don't know what is wrong with me. But I got rid of the respiratory bug, and the full-body aches, and the headaches, and the heat, and the diarrhoea; and then this morning I wake up and I absolutely cannot touch my right armpit without any pain. Putting on deodorant has never been such a chore (Salinger).

Also I had a headache again.

But man, this armpit thing, am I right? First of all, who ever heard of an armpit injury? Honestly, it feels like I held my right arm above my head and someone just threw a baseball as hard as they could (well, not just anybody--let's says somebody who can throw a baseball really fast) it's like someone who is really good at throwing baseballs threw a baseball as hard as they could and it hit me right in the armpit. And now I'm walking around like a damn armpit cripple, and I can't even finger my armpit like I like to. I can't even tickle myself. The real question: what does this inability to finger my armpit or tickle myself mean to my daily routine? What am I going to do with this new hour-and-a-half in my day?

Anyway, today I went back to "work," where the kids were elated to see me. Did I say elated? Because I meant indifferent. Sorry, I got a 3 on my GREs. No, I don't know if that's plausible, but I assume that is a bad score on the GREs. The only test that a 3 would be good for me on is an eye-sight test. Or a BAC test. Spring break Panama City mothershuckaaaaazzz

Well, I was browsing the CMU book fair again today, and I noticed my student Jaao was browsing the same table as me (or rather, she made the mistake of looking at English books for two seconds at a table that I happened to be at). So I screamed "Jaao!" (and this time someone responded!) and offered to buy her any book on the table.

"Nevermind," she said.

I thought that meant she wasn't interested, but hell, what do I know about English? It meant that she was interested. We picked out a book together--Babysitter's Club. She promised to tell me how it was. I promise to tell this story a lot so that I can yell the word JAAO a lot. JAAAOOOOO

JAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOO
JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
JAAO!
JAAO!
JAAO!

Oh speaking of students, today I ran into two students, So and Pair, outside the chaff-eteria (I call the cafeteria because "the chaff-eteria" because the food is chaff--is my microphone working? How about in the back?). Well I see them all the time, these two freshymen, and they always laugh and then run away so as to not have to talk to me. They learned their lesson the first time, when they eagerly came up to me for a conversation before realizing they couldn't actually speak any English. Spirits crushed, lesson learned.

Well, about five minutes after I said hello, it turned out that I got into the soup line (not as depressing as it sounds) right behind So, who turned around and saw me, and responded as all normal humans would.

"Ahhh!" she screamed, and then turned around really fast.
"Whoooa!" I said back, startled.

And then we stood in silence. I'm sure she was hoping I wouldn't say anything to her, but the police don't call me "persistently intrusive" for nothing!

(Am I right, Donna. Why don't  you return my phone calls, Donna. I know you are reading this, Donna.)

I asked her what she was ordering. She answered in Thai. She asked me what I was ordering. Then she stuck around to listen to me speak Thai. Afterwards she asked me if I was studying Thai with a teacher. I said I was. Then she ran away with her bowl of soup, scuttling off like a mouse.

Just like the States.

1 comment:

  1. I have totally had the armpit thing before. It hurts like a bitch, and I'm always afraid I have cancer. Also, there are lymph nodes there.

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