Thursday, December 24, 2009

A Friendly Holiday Reminder: Your Dumb Cousin Might Be The Zodiac Killer

Even though I know that everyone who reads this blog (my mother, my father, me) is Jewish, I thought I would pass this along.

I was watching Zodiac earlier today, and one of the key clues linking the Zodiac letter-writer to probable(?) serial-killer Arthur Leigh Allen is that both of them spell Christmas with two S's: "Christmass"

Now, the Zodiac Killer was never caught, and Allen is no longer a suspect, so that means the Zodiac killer could really be anyone, regardless of age, sex, or plausibility. I was given this reminder when a student wrote me a note wishing me a "Merry Christmass"--could Gift, a 19 year old Thai girl, be the Zodiac Killer? Yes, she could be, and so could anyone.

I would advise anyone who sees a friend, relative, colleague, or tall-but-stocky 80 year old man living in the California area using the spelling "Christmass" to immediately issue a citizen's arrest, which may or may not be a real thing. I for one have citizen's arrested (verb?) Gift, and she is in custody with someone who I can only assume is a police officer, given that he was wearing a uniform of some kind and also had a gun. Also note that Dunkin Donuts workers here carry guns*

*not true.

The Zodiac Killer is still out there, people, and he is still killing (the environment with his carbon footprint). Don't let up. Don't let the Zodiac ruin another young Vallejo couple's Christmass.

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