Sunday, December 20, 2009

Blues Is The News

Well, today was as action-packed as a Wal-Mart $1.99 DVD bin:

First, my friend Van picked me up to go see something that was only really described to me as "they have Hondas at the stadium; they're going to drift." So we went to see the Hondas at the stadium, to see them drift.

We went to the 700 Years Stadium, which is an 8 year old sporting complex built for the ASEAN games (Southeastern Asian sporting competition pitting the best of Philippines, Indonesia, Laos, the one next to Laos, Thailand, Egypt, uh...France...some others, too--against each other in all-Southeast Asian sporting action. Well, today at the 700 Years Stadium they had Honda racing, brought to you by Honda (Slogan: "Enjoy Honda"). We got there as the day was finishing up, just in time for the final race, which pitted 10 previous winners against each other in a final 15 laps around the stadium (for PINKS (not really)). The main attraction seemed to be that one of the drivers was a white man named Ray McDonald. He came in third. I got a stomachache from all of the rumbling so close to me. Also, I'm a 75 year old from Long Island with high blood pressure. But that wasn't news to anyone, so I went home.

Other major happening of the day was my discovery of a new favorite restaurant! This one is different from my other favorite restaurants, in that each dish costs more than 20 Baht per (dishes range from 30-45 Baht), there aren't ants and mosquitoes everywhere (I only saw one of each), and I didn't have to race home afterwards with diarrhea (I drove home very slowly before going diarrhea). It is a roast chicken place, and today I had the roast chicken with sticky rice.

(Anecdote: the method of ordering is to put a tick mark next to the menu item that you want. Like, they have a menu card with all of the items listed, and then you put a tick next to whatever you want. So I put a tick next to the roast chicken, white rice, ice, and water. The waiter picks up my menu card, walks about three steps, reads it, and then stops and says something to another waiter and points at me. "Great," I'm thinking, "How have I fucked up this time?" He comes back, points at the white rice, and says (in Thai) "We're out of white rice," making it the first time that anywhere in Asia has ever been out of white rice.

Honestly, I didn't even know restaurants ran out of white rice. They buy these bags by the truckload. And when they run out, they can actually go anywhere to get more. I mean, the other day, I ordered Ramen Noodle stir-fry, which is a very common dish. The woman says fine, gets out from behind the counter, and then leaves the restaurant, leaving me standing there. I watch her cross the street and enter a 7-11, where she buys a packet of Ramen noodles to fry up. This actually happened.

Point of the story is I had roast chicken and sticky rice).

Is that the point of the story, though? Was there a point to the story? Has there ever been a point to any story I've ever told?

No, I don't. I did find Syndromes and a Century on YouTube though, which is illegal to watch on TWO levels:

1) Copyrighted material on YouTube
2) Material censored by the Thai National Government

It's okay, though, I hear Thai prison's not so bad. Am I right, Brokedown Palace?

No comments:

Post a Comment