Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Another Day, Another Doldrum

Yes, I've fallen back into "the groove" here, in which "the groove" is not something about music or being cool or anything, but rather the initial meaning of groove, which has something to do with being a boring person.

I can't go to dinner quite yet because I'm waiting for the excellent debut album by Richard Cheese to finish downloading, so I thought I'd give a little update of what my day was like, and thus, what my days are always like.

Wednesdays are days off for CMU, so I slept in--or would have, had I not been awoken by noxious fumes at 10 A.M. For the best--oh, what's a good estimate?--40 days, my apartment building, the Chomdoi Condotel, has been renovating, rebuilding, repainting, repaving, etc. etc. What this has meant the past few days is that my room smells like a porta-potty in the Home Depot mulch department. I really can't describe it except to say that I don't like the smell, that the smell is strong like a weightlifting French cheese, and that, like anyone who has seen the John Travolta film A Civil Action knows, I am also certainly going to end up with cancer because of this.

(Brief interlude: here's what I have for movies that John Travolta has starred in this decade, 2000-2009:

Battlefield Earth
Lucky Numbers
Swordfish
Domestic Disturbance
Basic
The Punisher
A Love Song for Bobby Long
Ladder 49
Be Cool
Lonely Hearts
Wild Hogs
Hairspray
Bolt
The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3
Old Dogs

Non-Richard Brody-certified review of John Travolta's acting choices this decade: OUCH)

Anyway, so most of today was spent buying a pleasant aroma for my room. Cartoon took me to the Smell Shop (unfortunately not a real business) and I picked out some honeysuckle Smell, got a Smell-tainer and some candles, and lit some candles in my room. Now, for the glorious fifteen minutes that the aroma burns, my room no longer smells like a foot that stepped in a sewer puddle. It smells like honeysuckle.

And then I walk outside and the cancer starts forming again.

Oh, another note: today I got a part replaced on my engine, got my brakes fixed, and got a new rubber step for my motorcycle. Total cost: 280 Baht. 7 dollars. Approximately the cost of an air freshener at NAPA Auto Parts in America. (Are you noticing a theme in today's post? The theme is Smell.)

All right! Richard Cheese is almost done downloading, and my candle is almost out of flame...

Hey, that reminds me of that song from "Rent" about the candle. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? It has typically horrible "Rent" lyrics? I think it goes like this:

MAN
WILL YOU LIGHT MY CANDLE?

WOMAN
YES I'LL LIGHT YOUR CANDLE

MAN
WILL YOU LIGHT MY CANDLE

WOMAN
YES I'LL LIGHT YOUR CANDLE

MAN
MY CANDLE....

WOMAN
YOUR CANDLE....

MAN
MY CANDLE....

WOMAN
YOUR CANDLE...

MAN
MY CANDLE...

WOMAN
YOUR CANDLE....

(REPEAT X1,000 OR UNTIL THE AUDIENCE LEAVES)

Does anyone remember that song? I have very vivid memories of it, and obviously I memorized all of the lyrics.

The point is, well it seems to me, that my candle is like, like a candle in the wind. And now it's out. So to play us out (omg have u seen this hilarious web video?) here's Rickie Cheese performing one of his standards, "Creep."

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