Wednesday, November 18, 2009

News and Notes, Febtober Eleventieth

-Last night I skateboarded over to the CMU reservoir to catch the meteor shower. There were clouds all over the sky though, so I couldn't see the stars from any angle, no matter which way I Leonid.

-On the skateboard ride home, going downhill at a pretty good speed, I ran over a pebble. My skateboard stopped but I did not. I landed on my left knee first, followed by my hips and hands, followed by stomach (OOF). I screamed Oh shit, but there was no one there to corrupt.

The last time I can remember similar pain was back when I was 14 or 15, on the trampoline in the backyard (Here comes a story you never heard, Mom and Dad!). I was trying to do a gainer--like you jump forward into a back flip--which I did all the time. So I positioned myself at the edge of the trampoline, facing inward toward the center, and I got good air and jumped up to do my backflip. Problem was, I didn't also jump forward so that I would land in the middle of the trampoline...I just jumped straight backward. I landed feet first on the ground next to the trampoline...and simultaneously stomach-first on the metal frame of the trampoline. OOF. Luckily, my intense, intense pain was not captured by videocamera, or else surely this would have won a prize on America's Funniest Home Videos, or its Sagetless cousin, YouTube.

Anyway, I was able to skateboard home with some effort (neither the board nor I are in great shape at this point), but today, um, I could barely walk without intense pain in my knee. Stairs are out of the question...I sort of have to skip or hop, with lots of momentum to get up them. I am most comfortable sitting with my leg outstretched, which is problemaic when eating with someone or near anyone.

I walk like an old man now--slowly, holding onto railings, pooping my pants whenever I feel the urge.

-I saw 2012 today in theaters. Did you know it was 3 hours long? I did not know it was going to be 3 hours long.

My thoughts? It was about what I expected: the greatest movie of all time.

-A noodle stand lady today thought it was hilarious that I didn't know the Thai word for "dumplings." Har har har.

-If you have ever wondered what a Guangzhou traditional old dwelling looks like, I now have professional photographic evidence as to what a Guangzhou traditional old dwelling looks like.

So here's to Guangzhou traditional old dwellings: and here's to my Guangzhou traditional old fellow.

By whom I of course mean Gristle.

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