Friday, October 30, 2009

I Am A Little Like a Thai Lady, I Suppose

Yesterday I played a game called "Teacher Tells the Truth" with two of my second-year classes. The idea is that they split into teams and write questions about me, and then write them on the board. If the grammar and spelling are correct, then I must answer the question, and that team gets a point; if the question is incorrect, I don't answer the question, and the team doesn't get a point. In the end, though, everyone wins, because we don't have to talk about proper outline format for 45 minutes.

Anyway, as you can imagine, this leads to many, many poorly-worded questions that I have to try not to laugh at while explaining why the grammar is incorrect; it also leads to some shockingly direct questions. Some of my favorites:

"Are you the British?"
"Why are you here?"
"What is your goal?"
"Will you marry Chatchawan?" (really gay boy hiding behind his Japanese fan in the front row)
"What do you think of Thailand's political situation?"
"Do you like Obama?"
"Are you like the Thai lady?"

One of my favorite moments, because I'm an egocentric Polo-turd, was when they asked "What school did you graduate from?"


"Again please?"


And then I wrote it on the board. This fat kid, a pre-law student (extrapolate what you will), raises his hand and asks, "Is that the Ivy Leagues?" And I say "Yes," and then he goes, "WHOO!!" and starts shaking his head in disbelief. So I've got his respect, at least. Or something.

One of my classes asked me "How old are you?" which is unfortunately correct English. I wrote five ages on the board:

And told them that I was one of those ages, and that we would have a vote. The results:

20 - 0
23 - 1
26 - 15
29 - 12
32 - 0

I erased 20 and 32 from the board, and no one was very surprised; but then, suddenly, I erased 26 off the board, and the class seriously lost its shit. They couldn't believe it. People were almost screaming in Thai, so much had their world crashed down before them. We took another vote:

23 - 5
29 - 23

When I erased 29, there was probably about two minutes of uncontrollable confusion. Everyone talking at once; people on their cell phones; I think a few desks caught fire. But eventually they calmed down enough to ask me if I liked spicy food.

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