Thursday, October 8, 2009

Chonburi Buffalo Races 2009: The World Is Not Enough-alo

(This is Part 3 in a planned 2-Part series on my visit to Chonburi to see the Chonburi Buffalo Festival, which is like Burning Man in every way possible. You can check out Parts 1 and 2 by using your common sense and trying to locate them on this webpage).


When we last wrote (this blog, as many of you know, is co-written with Jonathan Ames), I was taking pictures of buffaloes, and people standing next to buffaloes.

This time, I have pictures of buffaloes, people with buffaloes, buffaloes occupying three-dimensional space, and more!

Here are two local beauties, dressed as some sort of Oriental elfin-creatures, next to a buffalo with a really big hat. It's funny because it's bigger than a, you know, normal-sized hat. 

And also it's crushing his neck muscles.


And here's Buffalolly Ringwald, looking Pretty in Pink! This reminds me of this one time, when I was seven years old, my sister and I painted our gerbil Justice a pretty shade of pink! And then, overnight, it promptly suffocated to death from the toxic substances blocking its pores. Hey, not all stories are happy, you know!

Chik-Fil-A is missing out on a BIG TIME promotional deal here. Haha, can you believe those "Eat Mor Chikin" ads are still funny after all these years? I've never really though about it, because I'm laughing too hard!

Does this remind anyone else of Moses in Egypt-land? I mean, I'm sure this costume is MUCH more offensive than that, but by golly--I think I see Moishe in that beard!

After this is over I think we should all get airbrushed T-shirts of us drinking Tequila and watching an orange sunset.

Do you guys remember when two of the most important movies in early-American Film History were horribly, horribly racist? I'm talking, of course, about It's a Wonderful Life and Donnie Darko.

Ready to deliver a hot beef injection.

Yes, the boy on the right is completely naked. He was really embarrassed to have his weiner flopping around, so he mostly covered it with his hand and looked really bashful and upset. I felt bad for him, so I got naked, too. This did not make anyone feel better.

Except for me. I love being naked.

I'm naked right now.

King of the trees, the tree-meister. I count on them.

Can't quite tell what the signs say. White one says something about "middle" NOUN while the cardboard one says "Eat SOMETHING." My guess?
1. Middle, A Song by Jimmy
2. Eat World

No, in fact I'm positive.

A giant piece of poop! Probably from a buffalo.

They're like characters in a racist Dr. Seuss fable.

Like a Polaroid picture.

Joke about Michael Jackson and/or Tiger Woods.

You see, this fair was just like any other fair! There was a kiddie race track!

And an Ultraman moonbounce!

And an entire family of four on one motorcycle!

Off to the races!

Strugglign to a couple of buffalo into starting position.



....not a great showing.

When you fall off the buffalo, get right back on the buffalo, that's what I say.

And they're off! (Finally).

At the Chonburi Buffalo Festival, even the dogs got in on the totally forced costume wearing.

Hey, do you know what children like to eat? Sun-dried maggots.

Other competitions at the Festival included sling-shot accuracy contests...

The greased-pole climb (those little pieces of paper sticking out are increasing bills of currency).

Get on up there, big guy!

This reminds me, in a sick way, of that SNL game show parody "Who Wants to Eat?" Perhaps because these poor kids were attempting to reach 50 Baht bills for about three hours.

Bah, I'm at my photo limit again. Good news though: the very next picture is from a brutal, brutal cockfight.

Brought to you by Isuzu!

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