Thursday, October 1, 2009

The Beginning of My Breakdown

Well, tonight I leave for Chonburi/Bang Saen Beach/the Buffalo Festival/My Mental Breakdown, in what could be the Most Frustrating Vacation of All Time.

I learned that not many "tourists" (READ: honkeys) make it on down to Chonburi/Bang Saen Beach, and so the English will probably be pretty scarce (READ: there won't be any). Luckily I know the word for "Buffalo," and also I can do a pretty mean buffalo impression. Just ask my first wife.

So if I don't update for a while, please understand that it's not because I've lost interest in the blog, but rather because I am dead. Most likely cause of death: heart explosion.

I'll be fine, I'll be fine. Worst comes to worst, I can sleep in the park until the police escort me back to the Bangkok Bus Station. Or: I'm a really good swimmer. Also a really good prostitute.

What I'm saying is, even when I inevitably am unable to find 1) my hotel, 2) the buffalo festival, 3) any of my money, clothes, or identification, I will still be able to make it home to the Chianger.

All right: my camera is loaded. Casino Royale is ripped onto my iPod. I've pooped all I can poop. It is time to go on an adventure, Bonzai. Everything Zen. Why Oh Wink So.

By the way, the Pitchfork top 200 Albums List is gross.

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