Sunday, September 20, 2009

Songs Thai People Like: "Boom Boom Pow," by Black Eyed Peas

The first song in this multi-part series was the most popular song of all time ever in Thailand, "Nobody" by the Wonder Girls. The second song is equally vapid, if that is possible, and almost as popular, which is really unfortunate. It continues the Black Eyed Peas' attempt to destroy the English language. The song was written by the winner of "Yo Momma" on MTV (valid cultural reference point?), and the beat is designed to make you hump whoever you are standing next to. It is Boom Boom Pow, by the Black Eyed Peas, and they have a message from God:

I'm so 3008/
You're so two thousand and late.

OH SHIT DO YOU SEE WHAT THEY DID THERE?!?! Fergie is at a time period in the far future, while you (me? the listener? that sucks) are stuck in two thousand and...late? I have to say, I thought she was going to say eight. But then she said late. This is what good poetry does. Good poetry also makes you want to hump things. It's true, ask Harold Bloom.

Why do Thai people like this song?

1. Good meaning
Thai people only like songs that have a "good meaning." They do not like songs that have "bad meanings." Thai people like this song, and thus this song must have a "good meaning." That's indie-duction. (See what I did there?)

2. Simple chorus

Boom boom boom. Boom boom boom. Boom boom boom.

Gotta get that.

You could sing it in your sleep. And, if you live in Thailand, sometimes you will, because chances are that a bar outside your window is playing it really loudly when you are trying to.

3. Auto-tune

So 3008. This might be the first thing ever that has to do with the movie Tron that is actually successful. And yes, I'm including my junior prom.

4. 3000 and Great!

I'm so 3008
You're so 2000 and late
I'm so Jon, you're so Kate
And I'm so Aubrey McFate
You're 80 pounds overweight
I'll shut you out like a gate
I'm so 3008
You're so 2000 and not good at poetry like I am.

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