Sunday, September 13, 2009

Quo Diddy An

I.

I was quite pleased when I woke up yesterday from a nap to find that my room smelled absolutely lovely, better than it has since I moved in. If you are wondering how you can make your room smell so good, I have some simple instructions:

1. Spill an entire bag of liquid fabric softener onto the floor.
2. Let sit overnight.

All right all right all right

II.

Those who know me best know that I am a passionate collector of many things: deodorants with pictures of horses on them, human fingernails, etc.

III.

I am teaching myself how to write in Thai, which is going about as well as you might expect from someone who can not even draw a stick figure. And I was transliterating the names of some people I know and I noticed some irregularities:

1. "Jeff Gilbert," the name of my father, is impossible to pronounce in Thai. His name would be "Jep Ginbird."
1a. This is now my father's Native American name
1b. A Google search for "Jep Ginbird" returns only this:

"หรือคุณหมายถึง: jep gunbird "


on 

2. The transliteration of John would probably just be "Jahn," which means dish or plate.
2a. "The Transliteration of John" is also the name of my favorite Giotto fresco.
2b. Google Image Search "feeling lucky" return of the phrase "The Transliteration of John:






III. I had been seeing this dish called "Pad Kee Maow" on a lot of menus, and I didn't know how to translate it or what it was, so I went ahead and ordered it last night. Well, "Pad" means "fried," I knew already (as in, "Pad Thai," which literally means "Fried Thai person"--PAD THAI IS PEOPLE!) Pad stands for "fried" and apparently "Kee Maow" means--well, something that gives me diarrhea.

Something delicious that gives me diarrhea.

Delicious, delicious diarrhea.

No but seriously I think it's just spicy stir-fried vegetables.

IV. My skin is peeling in one of very specific part of my body, on a splotch of red just outside my right armpit on the chest-side of my arm. I guess I should stop flexing my right arm when I am out in the sun wearing my tube top.
 IVa. Google Image Search "feeling lucky" result for "tube top flex muscles":


VI. Flex your puppy muscle like antennas to heaven.

 God all the time all the all the time,
God all the time God all the time God.
Dog emit that La La, La La
Dog emit that La La La.

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