Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Highlights from the Reconstruction

Today my 101 Classes began their English presentations, which are 6-8 minute skits, performed in groups of 3, around 1 of 3 conceits:

1. I'm a foreign exchange student! What are Thailand's customs?
2. I've invented a new product! Let me tell you about it!
3. I'm running for CMU Student Council! Let me tell you about myself.

Here are highlights:

Golf: Welcome to the hottest and most popular show in America ever.
This is live from LA and this is American Idol.
I'm Ryan Seacrest and I'm gonna be your MC today. Ok. Today we have a very very special guest. In 2004 her single was a massive hit and now she's back with her new single, If You Seek Amu. Ladies and Gentlemen, Britney Sperm.
So [As Britney]: It's Spears!


E: Hi! You are the two exchange students right? Nice to meet you two.
P: We're really glad to see you too.
D: My name is Dream. I came from China.
P: And I'm Pakwhan. I come from Japan.

[To audience]

D: My name is Dream. I come from China. Nice to meet you guys.
P: I'm Pakwhan. I come from Japan. Take care of me please.
D: Give me some advice about this school, please.
D, P: We love this country.


[This one takes a bit of a setup. The idea was a presentation of a new vitamin product, with a pharmacists and a consumer. The consumer was a girl who was, let's say, a bit stocky, but with really white skin. Then another girl in the group, who was skinny but with dark skin, ducked behind a table so that no one could see her, wearing the same outfit as consumer. And then this happened:]

Pharmacist: The Beautifool tablet is a new invention product that give you the extreme beauty. It is contain 3 active ingredient in 1 tablet. Do you want to buy some?
Consumer: Hmm, I'm not sure. Let's me try first then I will decide.
Pharmacist: Of course!
Consumer: [Take the Beautifool tablet and faint down behind table]
Pharmacist: Down goes the elephant.
[Skinny consumer stands up]
Consumer 2: I become skinny but but...Oh! My God! What happen to my skin. Why it gets dark?!
Pharmacist: It may be some of the side effect of the product. Don't worry I can fix it. Here you are, take another one.
Consumer 2 takes another tablet and faints down behind the table

Pharmacist: Down goes the skinny frog.
[Consumer 1 stands up]
Pharmacist: Oh, glad to see you are okay. Look! Your skin get brighter.
Consumer 1: I'm fat again! I'm angry now. I'm not gonna buy your product and I'll tell everyone not to buy it, too!
Pharmacist: Wait! Wait! Please, don't go!
[Enter Pharmacist 2]
Pharmacist 2: What is going on here? Why you are so angry?
Consumer: I have tried your product but the result is I get skinny and dark! I don't want to be dark!
Pharmacist 2: If you buy this product I will give you 3 bottles of whiten lotion and 5 set of Beautifool tablet for free.
Consumer: OK but I want 5 bottle of whitening lotion not 3.
Pharmacist 1 and 2: Deal!



Practically an introduction to Thai customs in itself, even though they had chosen Option 2.


  1. Hey, I talked to Glen, he thinks maybe the third one would be funnier if the whole thing were set underwater or in space.

  2. Hey, I just talked to Jesse, he thinks maybe the third one would be funnier if there was a slow motion argument in the middle.

  3. Hey, I just talked to Bill Lockwood, he thinks all of them are terrible.