Some pictures of two unfamiliar penetrations that I came across today in Chiang Mai.
First: remember that Nickeloden cartoon "CatDog" from the late 90s, when the quality of cartoons (or my tolerance for them) was on the wane? It was a cartoon about a cat and a dog who were attached at the bum and had to cooperate to move, a really strange concept for a not-strange-enough show.
Well, I was reminded of CatDog today when I saw, in the street [of course--more photo evidence of this in the coming days], what must have been their real-life, Asian cousin, DogDog:
So these poor dogs had become attached, somehow, at the anus, and they were struggling mightily to break free from their butthole bonds. I laughed at the absurdity for a second, and then I was strangely reminded of the climax of Requiem for a Dream, and then I felt really, really bad for these little pups, who wanted nothing more than to bum-touch but had ended up stuck at the hip.
It really was pathetic. How do dogs get like that? Back to back, as it were? And they wouldn't let me close to them at all.
They do appear to be smiling though...right? Right?
Maybe this was all just an elaborate advertisement for The Pub Guest House.
"Rates so good you won't even mind the two-assed dog out front!"
"Come for the freak show out front, stay for the hospitality inside!"
"If you think two dogs attached at the anus are amazing, wait until you try our continental breakfast!"
And so on and so forth.
Unfamiliar Penetration 2
I found this brochure for a ritzy (read: over 10 dollars for an hour of massage) local spa/massage parlor today:
It's called "The Miracle Spa," and the slogan at the top says " Experience the Miracle at Chiang Mai's Newest Boutique-style Massage Therapy Facility "
What is the miracle, you ask? Here's what I think it is:
The miracle: the scrawny pale white man has found his loving Asian wife!
Attention loser Americans who come to Thailand because they are social elephants forced to Southeast Asia to throw money at a girl until she'll have sex with him and clean his house! Come to the Miracle Spa, where other American losers have come with the women who have miraculously agreed to have sex with him, women who would be about four leagues above him in the U.S. of A! If this loser can do it, so can you! Do you believe in miracles? YES!
Let's hear it for capitalism!
(P.S. I knew Edward Norton was out of work, but posing as a model for Thai massage parlors? Sheesh.)
Speaking of capiatlism, check out these outrageous prices at this outrageously expensive massage parlor:
Almost nine dollars for a sixty minute body massage? What am I, Richard Branson? Get thee behind me, Miracle Spa--I do not want your milky bath.