Friday, August 21, 2009

The Second Bumming

August has been my cruelest month, bowels-wise. I'm sure there is a correlation between something I have been eating and my newly volcanic excretory system--perhaps the discovery of the Thai phrase for "fry an egg on top"; perhaps I am getting more adventurous in the addition of spices; perhaps I should just stop eating things off the ground altogether.

Whatever it is, though, lately the old poop hoop has needed a volunteer firefighter or two.

What else happened today, beside those two things? I woke up at 6:30 to watch the baseball game--I've been thinking about it, and I do not know how I am going to wake up when there are no more early-morning Braves games. What, is the meager value of this ambulatory life supposed to get me out of bed in the morning? Is that normal? What are you, the groin police?

Today in my 8 o'clock class I accidentally lopped off a kid's ear with a butcher's knife; his name was Van, and he bled a pocketful. Then I dangled a modifier on the board and was called out for it. By a Thai student! Make haste to the nurse's room now, Van; go quickly, now.

The Braves won this morning, thank David Justice. Who knows how many ears I may have lopped off had they lost. (SABRmetric estimate: 8.3 ears/class period).

I'm listening to a Radiohead song from Amnesiac now, one I haven't heard in a while; and I kept on hearing these glitchy female vocals in the background, maybe a half a second each, spaced at two second intervals: and I'm thinking, Wow, this is really avant-garde, I don't remember this. Really, though, the ESPN video player was starting up in another window and was having trouble loading.

The autoplay caught me off garde, I guess.

Nap number two of the day is up and coming. I need to take one more nap after that in order to take more naps than diarrheas on the day, a goal that I try to maintain after reading an illuminating article about the nap-diarrhea connection in Reader's Digest years ago at Grandmama's in Tempe.

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