Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Feeling This One Right Now

From what is surely one of the 2000s 200 best albums, The Hold Steady's Boys and Girls in America, this just came up on my iTunes:

Just got an email from Apple. Title: "Great ways to take your wireless even further." I'll take a stab at its contents:

1. Compliment your wireless's appearance e.g. her looks, her clothes, the way she carries herself.
2. Emphasize your long-term commitment to your wireless, telling her that there is no other wireless internet you would rather be with.
3. Make sure your wireless is comfortable; do not pressure your wireless.
4. Set the right mood for your wireless. For music, your wireless may like Nick Drake, or perhaps some French love songs. Have a bottle of white wine with dinner, lightly chilled; do not force the wine on your wireless, lest your wireless believes you to be trying to get her drunk.

I think that joke has run its course.

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