Friday, June 12, 2009

Two Things from Yesterday

Before I share with you today's misunderstandings of the English language, I wanted to get down electronically two things about Thursday.

1) I wore my pants that make me feel like Burt Lancaster yesterday. This is hard to explain. So at some point when I was watching an old Burt Lancaster movie--I think "Sweet Smell of Success"--there was a shot of him wearing pants and no shirt. And he was wearing his pants way up around his belly button, and it sort of sucked in his tummy fat and made his pectorals a little saggy. It's a very specific look, that might be particular to leading men of a certain age and certain body build from the late 50s-early 60s.

Anyway whenever I look at myself in the mirror while I am wearing these pants, I think, Hey, my chest-pants combination reminds me of Burt Lancaster, makes me feel like I am Burt Lancaster. I don't know.

2) I had been saying that I was going to be attacked by feral dogs by the week's end, and I WAS RIGHT MOTHAFUCKERS, WHAT?! I was walking around in an unfamiliar place, and two dogs came running out of this hut barking a lot and I near shat myself. But they had muzzles on, so they just kind of shin-snouted me, and then their owner yelled at them.

Then about two minutes later on the same path I walked in between a bunch of cows. Then I saw some baby roosters. Then I wrote Animal Farm.

Ok.

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