Monday, June 8, 2009

That Old Infant Riddle

So I gave in and bought a man-purse.

Actually, I just call it a man-purse to make myself feel manly. It's actually just a purse that I am using as a man-purse.

Look, I had to carry all of these binders around all day, and my arms were getting tired, so I went into a market and bought a bag. The bag I bought happened to be black, and pink, and for women.

Here is what my man-purse looks like:

Picture a bowling ball bag, with the two straps to hold at your side. Those straps are silver metal.

The bag is mostly black. The pockets are magenta.

On one of the pockets is an anime chicken. Underneath the chicken are the words "BABY PARADOX."

I bought the purse because I thought "BABY PARADOX" was an incisive concision/rethinking of the clunky "chicken-and-the-egg problem" while also being a hilarious bit of Engrish.

When I am a hip hop DJ, I will be DJ Baby Paradox.

When I open an trendy overpriced tweener boutique clothing store in Orange County, it will be called: Baby Paradox.

When I die, on my tombstone will be written: "Father, Husband, Baby Paradox."

Baby Paradox.

Say it aloud over and over again until the phrase loses all meaning and connotation, and then continue saying it until each individual word becomes nonsense.

When you have achieved this, you will know the true meaning of the words.

And that is the Baby Paradox.

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